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Jul. 19th, 2005 12:27 pmNeed...to update...
I saw Charlie and the Chocolate Factory with Kelly and Mike on Saturday, and it rocked hard. Haven't been doing much of anything lately. Actually, I'm starting to get a little back into FFXI... and I'm waiting for it to update now. 'bout an hour to go, I think.
Also, I've been thinking/angsting a bit lately about myself and the people I see as my friends. For some reason, it feels like the majority of relationships I'm in, I give and give and give and get nothing back. Now, maybe it's selfish to expect a little in return, but really? Sometimes I just feel like people are being just plain rude. Whenever someone asks me for something, asks me for my help, I'll automatically do it for them. But if I'm in desperate need of something, I always just feel...ignored. Like people don't really give a damn. And the fact that I can't help but feel horribly used all the time.
It's been this way as long as I can remember, and I don't see it changing anytime soon. There are very few people that I know that I can say for sure give as much into the relationship as I do.
On top of all this, I've been having a lot of nightmares recently. A lot of them deal with Albedo leaving/cheating on/etc Rubedo/me. Silly, maybe, but it hurts more than anything. That's why I've been so desperate for Albedo/Rubedo fluff lately. Also had a rather disturbing dream in which I got possessed by some freaky little girl. And I don't even watch horror movies. Hmph.
EDIT: http://www.klaive.net/AmazingDamage.swf I almost cried at this thing. I saw it a year or two ago, and just re-watched it... And I was completely tearing up. If only everyone was like the WHM...
I saw Charlie and the Chocolate Factory with Kelly and Mike on Saturday, and it rocked hard. Haven't been doing much of anything lately. Actually, I'm starting to get a little back into FFXI... and I'm waiting for it to update now. 'bout an hour to go, I think.
Also, I've been thinking/angsting a bit lately about myself and the people I see as my friends. For some reason, it feels like the majority of relationships I'm in, I give and give and give and get nothing back. Now, maybe it's selfish to expect a little in return, but really? Sometimes I just feel like people are being just plain rude. Whenever someone asks me for something, asks me for my help, I'll automatically do it for them. But if I'm in desperate need of something, I always just feel...ignored. Like people don't really give a damn. And the fact that I can't help but feel horribly used all the time.
It's been this way as long as I can remember, and I don't see it changing anytime soon. There are very few people that I know that I can say for sure give as much into the relationship as I do.
On top of all this, I've been having a lot of nightmares recently. A lot of them deal with Albedo leaving/cheating on/etc Rubedo/me. Silly, maybe, but it hurts more than anything. That's why I've been so desperate for Albedo/Rubedo fluff lately. Also had a rather disturbing dream in which I got possessed by some freaky little girl. And I don't even watch horror movies. Hmph.
EDIT: http://www.klaive.net/AmazingDamage.swf I almost cried at this thing. I saw it a year or two ago, and just re-watched it... And I was completely tearing up. If only everyone was like the WHM...
