(no subject)

And now I'm back to being confused. Ugh. Maybe I'm just being picky. I think I was spoiled with a guy like Tadas, because he was so...perfect, personality-wise (except for the issues that caused our breakup). He had the most hilarious sense of humor, was willing to supprot and even partake in my yaoi obsession and well, all of my obsessions at that, and so much more. I'm never gonna find that in another guy, so I shouldn't be disappointed when I can't. I shouldn't be looking for another Tadas. But I can't help it. I just want a guy who's sweet, talkative, there for me when I need him, funny, and well, understands me, and will join me in my obsession escapdes and stuff. Someone who I feel like I can really connect to. Someone who I don't have any doubts about. Or...I don't know. Damn it all to hell. I guess my problems don't count as much as other people's problems do, but they're still driving me goddamn insane.

Add to that, I'm experiencing major self esteem issues again, mainly about my physical appearance. And please don't tell me "Oh, but you're pretty". You're my friends, of course that's what you'd say. ._.

Emoangst, whee. ::slams head against a wall::

I don't know wtf to do about anything. Damnit. So many goddamn doubts and concerns and shit. I don't know what's going on with how I feel.

Screw you, life and love.

EDIT: <3 to Sarah for chatting with me. Made me feel a lot better.