Writer's Block: What is your muse?

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All the time, unfortunately, and it definitely impedes me. I'm afraid to write sometimes because A) I think my own stuff sucks and B) I don't want people knowing how bad a writer I am. I kind of imagine as I'm writing and when I'm done, how are people going to react to it? Will people like it? Will people even read it?

Ughhhhh.

In other news, IHOP and coat shopping today. And maybe some ToV if I'm lucky.


You know what's kind of sad? Losing touch with people due to moving out of a fandom. It's kind of depressing when you realize that...neither of you can manage to make the effort to find new topics of discussion and keep in touch. I'm as much as fault here as other people; I wish I still made that effort, because there are people that I really miss that I once considered dear, close friends. This is why internet friendships can be really fickle sometimes...at least IRL, you'll see them in different situations in the like. Of course not to say that they're always fickle. Most of my best relationships are online.

Meanwhile, anon memes continue to make me lose faith in humanity. I was half considering breaking my self-imposed rule and joining another, more active RP (idk which though), but after seeing some shit on the anon meme about people, I realized it's just not worth it. It's a cruel, cruel world out there, one that I'm not willing to throw myself into any more.


While we're on the topic of RPing gd it Purg someone tag Hyde already

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Glee's made me realize how much I miss choir back in high school.

I'm not a great singer, but hell. Singing makes me so happy. I'm decent at it. I actually kind of like my voice sometimes, it's one of the only things I've been proud of in regards to myself. And I just--have so much fun while singing. By myself, or with others. Especially with others, it's amazing to sing with other people. But ever since I graduated from high school, I've barely ever had that opportunity. The only times I've ever really sung since then were...well, karaoke, when I could drag people to it. And since the people I usually went karaokeing with up and left me, even that's become rarer and rarer.

I don't know. It blows, that I was never able to get involved in any glee clubs or choirs or anything in college. Thanks to crappy scheduling, being a commuter, and everything being up at the other campus, I never had the opportunity to get involved.

I had so much fun back in high school. Twice a cycle, I think, I had choir? 8:10 or whatever in the morning, and yet, I was incredibly happy to be there. Mr. Sheehan was an amazing director. He picked out good songs, was just all around great, and idk. Everything. We had nice songs (except that...one shitty song for mass that we always complained about), and it was fun in general, and I don't even know. I had so much fun, and finally being able to perform solos as a senior was an incredible experience for me. I'll Be Home For Christmas for the Christmas concert (...which is all of eight lines before we were like .....yeah uh okay and added the intro to it to make it a tad longer), and Far From the Home I Love (from Fiddler on the Roof) for the spring concert. Oh man. Singing that song for the spring concert... Being able to perform such a beautiful song was wonderful. It made me feel so good, especially knowing that I was actually doing it well, that people liked what I was doing, that I was getting it right--switching from major to minor chords so frequently and accurately--and made me feel so good about myself.

And since I graduated, I've lost that.

I wonder if there's something around here I could get involved in, outside of school. I just don't know what, or where, or...even where to start looking, but I miss that feeling. Even if I'm not the solo, just being able to sing. Singing is such an experience.

...Wow, I really rambled there, didn't I? Blame the wine, I guess.

I really miss high school. It's been so lonely since then.

I really need new icons.